


The Other Half

by radkoko



Series: Soul Bound [2]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant, M/M, Soul Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-08
Updated: 2020-06-08
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:47:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,813
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24600022
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/radkoko/pseuds/radkoko
Summary: Kakashi felt the weaving of the bond as it tied around his heart.No...Not now, not ever!The thought rang out through his head. Now was not the time. If he had his choice it would never happen.
Relationships: Hatake Kakashi/Umino Iruka
Series: Soul Bound [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1778266
Comments: 12
Kudos: 110
Collections: KakaIru Mini Bang 2020





	The Other Half

**Author's Note:**

> People asked for Kakashi's POV and I finally got around to it... it only took 5 years (almost exactly 5 years).
> 
> _This can be read individually or with the previous fic. They can be read in either order, but I'm pretty sure this one is better writing so keep that in mind if it affects how you'll enjoy them in any particular order._

Kakashi felt the weaving of the bond as it tied around his heart.

 _No...Not now, not ever!_ The thought rang out through his head. Now was not the time. If he had his choice it would never happen.

The heartache and pain weren’t worth it. Sure one could be happy for a while, but he had watched his father as he grieved his mother, he never got over losing her. Kakashi didn’t want to feel that himself… or put someone else through it. He was the reckless one, he had nothing to live for not after Obito and Rin, but now that recklessness involved someone.

Kakashi wasn’t alone in the clearing, but only one person had entered just before the bond started its work, only one person that he’d never seen before. A boy, only a few years younger than himself, had been brought to the clearing where the Jounin were being held, left there on the ground to cry his heart out.

He was the one. He was Kakashi’s other half, the other half he didn’t want.

A roar rang out overhead as the Kyuubi continued its wave of destruction. This really wasn’t the time for this…

* * *

Kakashi had lost another person. Not just one, but two. Minato and his wife, Kushina, had died during the night that the nine-tailed fox attacked.

He was numb for weeks.

If they hadn’t been held back in that stupid forest he could have saved them, he could have protected the village… he could have avoided meeting his bond mate…

Kakashi still wanted nothing to do with the boy, but it felt like his duty to at least learn who this person was, after all, they were bonded forever now.

He’d known the kid was younger than him, he hadn’t seen a headband, so the academy was his first stop for observations. From his perch in the trees, Kakashi learned quite a lot.

Iruka Umino. Age ten, about three years younger than him. At this age that seemed like a huge difference, but far in the future it probably wouldn’t mean anything, assuming they had a future. Kakashi had advanced so fast for his age and yet this kid… Iruka was still in the academy and goofing off from what Kakashi had seen. He didn’t seem to have any real talents other than making the other kids laugh at him.

It didn’t take long for Kakashi to find out about Iruka’s family. He was an only child, like Kakashi, and he was now an orphan, like Kakashi. That night of the Kyuubi attack Iruka had managed to make it out on the battlefield to find his parents and was pulled away as he watched them die to save the village. It was something else they had in common, although at least his parents’ deaths had been honorable ones. It was a sight Kakashi would never wish on anyone.

The bond was slowly growing as the weeks passed, he’d been told once that it took a few months for it to fully form, but Kakashi could already feel the anguish and grief. The boy looked happy, but he could feel what was underneath that smile. It was a mask, something he knew a lot about.

Kakashi, of course, hadn’t gotten all of his information on his own. He’d caught Iruka and the Third talking a few times, and the old man called him out of hiding one time after Iruka had left.

“Spying?” the Hokage asked him.

Kakashi scoffed, he didn’t really want to have to explain himself, “Observing.”

“Ahh, yes. Well, young Iruka is very different from you, yet so similar.”

Kakashi frowned under the mask, not too keen on the Hokage’s statement.

“I see you disagree with me, but that’s okay. One day you will see what I mean.”

Kakashi had let the old man ramble on and tell him more than he cared to know, or at least more than he’d say he wanted to know.

The days and weeks passed and Kakashi just kept watching Iruka. How could he be bonded to someone so… different.

He knew that soul bonds were special, unique, they had a way of working out. Kakashi had not gotten the chance to ever know his mother, but he learned about her from his father’s stories. The two of them had been so different and yet it had all worked out… that was until his mother died and left his father with a gaping hole in his chest. A hole that he never fully recovered from.

Now all Kakashi could do was wait and see what would happen.

* * *

Kakashi sighed when he came to the memorial stone and saw Iruka sitting there. His bond mate had started spending far too much time there. Well, that was Kakashi’s opinion since he too wanted to spend some time there, alone. He wanted time there to be with those he’d lost… there were more now than there had been. He needed their guidance more now than ever, and yet he was so alone.

Iruka started looking around for him, telling Kakashi that the bond had grown stronger. But he hid his chakra so that Iruka couldn’t find him. Maybe in a few years that wouldn’t be as easy, but he wasn’t even a genin yet so Kakashi had the advantage.

Sitting in a nearby tree Kakashi waited. He wanted Iruka to leave, but he could feel the block of stubbornness settle into their bond, as Iruka made it clear he wasn’t going anywhere.

Feeling the emotions of your other half was something so new to Kakashi. He had always detached himself from others and left feelings out of things, but now every time he was near Iruka he got a straight shot of the waves of emotion that Iruka felt. Not all of Iruka’s feelings were nice, in fact most of them were awful. He still held so much resentment over his parents’ deaths, and Kakashi couldn’t blame him. They’d both felt so helpless that night in their own different way.

So they both sat there just waiting for the other to blink and give in. As he waited he could feel something new bubbling to the surface of the bond. Curiosity. Iruka was starting to grow curious to know who Kakashi was, but Kakashi knew that neither of them were ready to meet. He was still wrapping his head around what everything meant and how to balance his life with this new bond. Kakashi didn’t think that Iruka was ready to learn that his partner was a male teen genius that was captain of an ANBU team. Some days Kakashi wished even he didn’t know what he did about Iruka, but it was too late for himself. So he’d keep them separated until Iruka seemed more receptive of their bond, even if that meant never.

Iruka sat there for quite a while, although as the time went on Kakashi could see that he was no longer at attention. He’d seen him slouch and after not too long, Iruka was asleep. Kakashi scoffed at the sight, he’d give Iruka points for being stubborn, but he was only ten.

He made his way to the stone, cautious to avoid waking Iruka up. He placed a bouquet of flowers he’d brought and placed it at the base of the stone. Kakashi then ran his fingers along the four names. Each one feeling different in his heart as his fingers felt the unique engravings.

Looking down and the sleeping boy, Kakashi couldn’t decide how he felt about this soul bond. He knew that it wasn’t something everyone had, so maybe he should be happy about this. Still, it was hard to be happy about something like this at his age. Sure, Kakashi was no normal fourteen year old, but it wasn’t an easy time in life to find out that he had a person meant just for him, and only that one person for the rest of his life.

* * *

Kakashi hurt.

The aches ran through his whole body, enough to make him want to collapse, but he still had to make it to the village… to the memorial stone.

The first sign that he was home was the traces of the bond, clenching on his heart. With each step the threads gripped tighter as it was no longer just his physical pain, but emotional pain as well. Iruka didn’t know who he was, but it seemed that the ache and exhaustion he felt created an echo between them. It was the first time he felt the anguish of someone else feeling his suffering.

The nurses and doctors at the hospital had seen him in this state before, they understood the toll he put on his body, but they never felt it themselves, and Kakashi was too closed off to share this feeling with any of his… friends.

But Iruka… Iruka was now his soul mate. Their bond didn’t require words, didn’t wait for them to tell each other how they felt, it just said it for them. Every bit of emotion and physical feelings were sent directly to the other person.

And what Kakashi felt right now was that his other person hurt for him.

* * *

It was slow, but Kakashi could feel as Iruka’s heart had changed. It was no longer just the angsty teenager sending him hatred through the bond, but a person wanting to meet his other half, wanting to know more about him. The curiosity and determination were growing day by day to learn about his person.

Part of Kakashi wanted to let it happen, but another part of Kakashi wasn’t ready for it. The animosity had been present for so long that he wasn’t so sure that Iruka was really ready for it. He was still young, just barely becoming a chunin in the last year. How could Kakashi believe that he was ready for this, ready for Kakashi…

He watched Iruka sneaking peeks at the jounin whenever he was in the lounge or the mission room. It was like he was counting, calculating who was missing. Iruka was smart, so Kakashi had to play it smarter. Doing the only thing he could think of Kakashi made friends. He had casually been friends for a while with Asuma and Genma, but he forced himself into hanging out with them. He spent time with them to throw off Iruka.

Asuma and Kurenai were good to be around, but they were almost on their own wavelength, so he started to shift towards Genma and Raidou. They were easy people to be around for the most part. Genma was a bit exhausting, both in the company he kept and in his endless questions, but when Raidou was around they were a good trio. It helped that their skills lined up and they were often sent on missions together, which helped him avoid Iruka for longer.

It would be enough for now, but he wasn’t sure how long it would last.

* * *

Iruka was being foolish.

How was he so naive about his kids growing up. They had to become shinobi. If it wasn’t now then it’d be next year.

Kakashi had told the Third about what had happened during their mission to the Land of Waves. Naruto and Sasuke were no ordinary kids, and Sakura may not have their same raw talent, but she put in the hard work to keep up with them. If they stood up to two missing-nin after barely becoming genin, they could make it through the chunin exams.

"Those 'kids' are always complaining about the missions. Experiencing some pain would be good for them.” It wasn’t a lie, they needed to understand defeat. Without that the stakes of their missions would never be high enough. They weren’t going to pass the exams, but that didn’t mean that he shouldn’t let them learn from them. "Crushing them could be fun."

"WHAT?!"

"That was a joke Iruka-sensei.” He needed Iruka to understand this, but his jokes didn’t seem to be making it through Iruka’s wall. Iruka was so focused on the kids he had taught that he couldn’t see their potential. "I can understand how you feel. It must upset you, but…" The grey eye grew hard, piercing through Iruka.

"Kakashi, stop it," Kurenai tried to stop him, but Kakashi couldn’t. He had to get this point across to Iruka or he was never going to back down.

"Stay out of this. They are no longer your students. Right now, they are my soldiers."

Ok, so maybe that last bit had been too far. He felt anger and rage directed at him in a way he never had before. It wasn’t just the nebulous resentment that had always been there, it was an unbridled animosity that could be seen in Iruka’s eyes.

Kakashi had to pretend that it didn’t hurt. The pang to his heart was so strong he could almost topple, but Iruka didn’t know and this wasn’t how he was going to tell him. He let the pain sit there and played it off as if he’d gotten the win in this fight. To everyone in the room, he had won, but inside he’d lost something. He might have lost Iruka forever.

* * *

After he’d had time to wallow in his pain, Kakashi decided to drown his sorrow in alcohol. It wasn’t his normal style to go out drinking alone and he wasn’t quite sure why he’d decided to do it, that was until he saw who was sitting there in the bar. Iruka was being handed more and more drinks in celebration. The poor teacher already pretty drunk but accepting more drinks anyway.

He felt an elbow to his side and turned to see Genma drinking a beer to his side.

“So… apparently you and Iruka were in a fistfight today?” Genma asked as if he hadn’t been standing in the same room during their argument.

“It was a verbal spar at most,” Kakashi deafened the rumor.

“You’re no fun, Kakashi,” Genma teased, “The adorable academy teacher is getting so much love and praise for taking you on. You should let them have their fun.”

Kakashi looked at the group partying, “I’m not going to interfere, but you asked.”

Genma shrugged, “You still upset over what happened?”

“I was never upset,” Kakashi lied.

“I’m not sure I can believe that Kakashi. I’ve known you a long time, and something seemed a bit off after that conversation. You had control, but you looked like you had lost.”

Kakashi swallowed, glad that the din of the bar drowned out the sound. He chucked back a shot trying to avoid having to respond to Genma’s observations. He had never told anyone about the bond, even his friends. Kakashi thought that he’d never tell anyone about it. And still Genma had seen something, something he hadn’t expected anyone to see.

“Someone should really take him home soon…” Genma noted. Kakashi looked over to see Iruka sleeping against the bar as the party started to move on without him.

There was a tug at his bond, a feeling he’d never had before, the need to protect his bond mate. Kakashi placed money down on the bar for his drink and walked over to Iruka.

“I meant one of his friends, Kakashi,” Genma tried to stop him, “I don’t think he’d be too happy seeing you right now.”

“It’s fine,” Kakashi replied, as he coerced Iruka off the bar into his arms, “Besides, I don’t think I feel like staying here any longer.”

“It’s your funeral,” Genma grumbled, letting him continue on his way.

Kakashi lifted Iruka up and made his way to the door. A bit of anger and anxiety hit him as he realized that nobody seemed to care that he was walking out of the bar with the passed out Iruka. He wasn’t Iruka’s keeper, but it was hard to imagine that his friends didn’t even notice that he was gone. Kakashi didn’t even want to think about how Iruka could be hurt if he had been anyone else.

As he walked he felt Iruka start to curl into him, and his heart responded without his consent. He felt the warmth grow between them through the bond, pinging back and forth as if responding to each other.

Kakashi watched the smile that grew on Iruka’s sleeping face, hoping that one day he too could create that smile. He’d caused Iruka so much pain over the years, between his recklessness and the inability to stop hiding. He hoped that one day they could at least become friends.

When they made it to Iruka’s apartment, Kakashi was surprised he managed to get them to Iruka’s bed without much trouble. He’d been afraid of knocking over things as they made it through the narrow entryway.

Kakashi helped Iruka out of his shoes and vest, leaving the rest for Iruka when he woke up, before tucking the man under the covers. He pulled off Iruka’s headband and eased the band out of his hair to leave it loose. Without a second thought he pulled down his mask and left a gentle kiss to Iruka’s temple, not knowing when he might have the chance to do it again. Kakashi put his mask back in place before turning off all the lights and walking right back out of Iruka’s apartment as if he’d never been there.

He avoided the streets on his way back to his own place. It wasn’t so much wanting to keep away from the people, but more that he was enjoying the full light of the moon. It was a small happiness that he felt. It blossomed in his heart and he started to think that maybe it wasn’t so bad to tell Iruka who he was. Iruka’s feelings might be a little skewed by his inebriated state, but Kakashi could feel the warmth that they both held onto after being so close.

So much of Kakashi time had been focused on the idea that when, if, Iruka found out he might not like him, which meant that Kakashi had instead been burying his own wants for so long. It had been a long twelve years of hiding, and he was starting to think he needed closure. Whether Iruka liked him or hated him, at least he would know, he wouldn’t have to hide anymore.

Iruka had been seeking him out for a while, so maybe it was his turn to be vulnerable. It was his turn to let Iruka come to him.

* * *

The next day Kakashi could feel the confusion and desperation from Iruka. The desire to find him grew as each moment passed. Kakashi’s decision to help Iruka last night had sent a spark that lit the already unwavering decision to know him.

So Kakashi did the only thing he could think of, he waited.

It wasn’t long until Iruka showed up at the memorial stone. They had ‘met’ here many times, although Kakashi had always stayed hidden even if Iruka could feel him.

Iruka’s shock echoed in him. He wasn’t sure if it was good or bad so he waited to understand.

“You?” Iruka finally spoke, "Why didn't you tell me before?" Kakashi could hear the accusation in his words even as he tried to keep a level tone.

“I…” Kakashi adopted his usual anxious pose, scratching at the back of his head as if trying to come up with a good reason. He knew the reason all too well, but it sounded like such a bad excuse now after all these years, “You hated me, there was so much resentment for what had happened that night, so much anger… I didn’t know if you ever really wanted to know.”

“I’m…” Iruka looked hurt, but Kakashi wasn’t sure if it was because of what he said or embarrassment for the actions that had happened, “I’m sorry.”

Kakashi waved it off, “Honestly we were both young. I was angry at what had happened that night too. For years I wished I had the freedom to not know about you either.”

“But I did want to know. I’ve been trying to figure out for years… so why? Why did you continue to hide?” Iruka begged to know, to understand Kakashi’s thinking.

“You were still young, so new to being an adult. I was afraid that you’d change your mind about wanting to know. You’d regret it when you found out it was me.”

Iruka thought on his statement, “Yesterday… why-”

“You baby them too much Iruka,” Kakashi knew what Iruka wanted to hear, why had he pushed him, “I didn’t mean to push so hard, but they’re stronger than you give them credit for, and I wasn’t going to ignore that just because of the bond.”

“I hurt you too,” Iruka said, “I mean I could feel how much you hurt yesterday after that…”

“I’m used to it.” The words slipped out from Kakashi’s mouth. He meant them, but there was a pang of regret from both of them as soon as it was said. Kakashi for saying it, and the pang from Iruka for having caused that pain over the years.

It was silent between them, only the wind blowing through the trees and the sound of people going about their lives in the distance.

“Thank you for last night,” Iruka said, breaking through the quiet.

Kakashi felt the heat rise to his cheeks, he had hoped Iruka had no memory of it, “You remember?”

Iruka frowned, “Not much,” he admitted, before putting a hand to his chest, “but I remember feeling it.” He touched his forehead, “And that.”

Kakashi tried to hold in his freak out. He hadn’t meant for Iruka to know, to remember. It had just been a kiss, but that didn’t mean it was right.

Iruka reached out and grabbed Kakashi’s hand. He almost pulled back but managed to keep it to just a flinch. Iruka squeezed his hand and Kakashi squeezed back.

“Can we start again?” Iruka finally asked.

Kakashi’s heart squeezed in his chest. _Yes!_ He wanted to scream it out loud, but he just nodded, not sure how much Iruka could feel through the bond. He was glad that the mask hid the huge smile on his face from being able to finally start this with Iruka.

Before Kakashi knew what was happening Iruka placed a chaste kiss to his clothed lips. Kakashi held back his desire to pull down his mask and kiss him again. That could wait for later. He had known Iruka this whole time, but this was still new to Iruka.

“Thank you,” Iruka said, his smile taking up his whole face, and Kakashi’s heart melting at the sight, their bond growing warm as they both just stared at each other.

**Author's Note:**

> I did change some of the dialogue in the last scene. I'd planned to keep it the same so they lined up better, but I really felt like it deserved more and better than the old fic.
> 
> It's kind of crazy to see how much my writing has changed in 5 years.


End file.
